What if we let others walk with us, even if from a distance? What if we let our complexity shine out, rather than close off and cage us? What if we stood in our reality, and let it be?
I think that’s what she would have done.
So what if I said: my mother, the human who shaped and grew me, died two and a half months ago and this is what was in me in the before, during, and after?
Here you are, a nine-year-old sex worker in the walmart parking lot. Here you are, in a sequined red shirt — flimsy, translucent, bare-ly hiding the chest you aren’t old enough to grow. Here you are, nine years old. You are nine years old. Once, in that sheltered place, bumbling through heart and soul onContinueContinue reading “For K”
I learned to wait in Kenya, sitting in the shade of trees, being, breathing, until the time comes. Sometimes for the matatu to finally guzzle and cajole itself to a start, sometimes for the quorum to slowly make their way over the bulbous stones to the collection of chairs wobbling on uneven ground circled intoContinueContinue reading “wait”
I’ve been volunteering on the Greek Island of Lesvos for seven days now, with four remaining before I return to the United States on December 21. What follows are snapshots of my time here, as I’ve worked in various refugee camps and with Lighthouse, an organization on the island’s north coast which receives boats asContinueContinue reading “One Week on Lesvos: Snapshots”
(Where in the world is Callie? There was a slight change of plans: it has now been nearly two weeks since we arrived in Rome, Italy, where Mariah and I are volunteering full-time at the Joel Nafuma Refugee Center and at Centro Baobab, two organizations that welcome, support, and care for refugees, migrants, asylum-seeker, humansContinueContinue reading “living light”
mosaic: a poem created by lifting words written in my notebook during the first fifty-two days of this journey and weaving them into a mosaic
day 1: go real open
day 4: warm ordinaries, calm wonder
day 5: create…
Written while gazing out the window of a bus journeying from Northern Ireland, where we have just spent three days, to Galway and Lehinch, on the west coast of Ireland, where we will spend the next ten days. I. Sun glides, glints, gallops across cliffy coast line, shrouding ground in gold, then turns fire- some,ContinueContinue reading “Irish Skies, Soliciting The Soul’s Response”
I have witnessed suffering. I have seen horrible things. I have watched indescribable pain. I turned around; there two babies lay next to one another on the bed, silenced by pain, save for slight mewing. Their bandages were removed and I glanced twice, three times, four before I could comprehend what was missing: their tinyContinueContinue reading “That is Something”
It’s been almost six months to the day since I’ve given presence to this blog. It’s not that I haven’t written; I have written much in 2015 (see the ‘poetry’ pages for my most recent work). But often a blog posting seems to require a beginning and an end, polished sentences and verb agreement, andContinueContinue reading “six months intentionally whole”
I’ve been considering prayer. In the past week, I walked kilometer after kilometer over red dirt roads, muddy footpaths, rocky hills, grassy plains, splashing puddles, cracked earth, and over the thresholds of the homes of fifteen of the orphans and vulnerable children, specifically those living in child-headed households, that the Umoja Project supports. And asContinueContinue reading “translating care”
Two days ago, I celebrated my twenty-first birthday. As I am known to do, I took the opportunity to reflect on life and self and soul and where I’ve been and where I’m going. Over this glorious birthday weekend at Bass Lake, one of my favorite places in the world, I slowly wrote twenty oneContinueContinue reading “twenty-one”
It’s been one month and twenty-five days since I left Senegal. It’s been one month and eleven days since I returned to the United States. It’s been two weeks and two days since I’ve been back at Kalamazoo. I have felt amid a whirlwind of transitions. Sometimes scary, sometimes sad, mostly exciting, all challenging inContinueContinue reading “lists”
A week and some odd minutes ago, I was landing at Indianapolis International Airport, walking through the same entrance terminal to terminal B that I walked through 6 months previously, that time ‘departures’ this time ‘arrivals’. Since then I have filled my days with pots and pots of coffee, chunky sweaters and wool socks, naturallyContinueContinue reading “inconclusive”
Today, I am sick. Today, I am stressed. Today, I am a ball of emotions which fleet through my mind and heart a mile a minute. And so when I got home today after a coffee-fueled afternoon of paper writing and apartment scrambling, I could have just gone to bed and taken a nap. ButContinueContinue reading “the sun it rises, the sun it sets”
Sometimes you are knocked off-guard. We’re sitting squished in a bush taxi, heaps of baggage, literally heaps of bread, tea, coffee, sugar, butter, choco-pain, sardine paste (all the necessary fixings for a stand up Senegalese breakfast) are piled on top of us. We are traveling to the village of Ngueth outside of Palmarin outside ofContinueContinue reading “clementines”
Reflections on transitions from and toward a year: ——– The new year – moving toward mindfulness, thinking toward thankfulness. One step at a time. Always moments for good, for beauty, for gratitude. In the year ahead, I will pass time, be amongst, laugh with, sit aside, hold, listen to and be heard by, family inContinueContinue reading “pelicans in flight, returning”
I’ve been busy. Busy with early morning trips to the market where the women know me only as Daba Sarr and I speak only Wolof, busy with walks through now-familiar streets to run errands or pick up something sweet to eat, busy making plans with sisters and meeting up ‘at that one corner where weContinueContinue reading “a compilation”
I went to the beach today with my host sister, Corine, her fiancée, Michel, her friend, Ellen, Ellen’s husband, Amadou, and my friend Caroline. Here is what I learned at the beach (because every moment is a learning opportunity): Senegalese people are intense. In many different ways, both good and bad, both heartening and distressing,ContinueContinue reading “learning at the beach”
Written 21 September 2013 My second day in my homestay was September 11. I mentioned this to my Papa, who said: “this is a big day for your country. This day changed your home.” Today, my friend Caroline was over at my house and we were flipping through channels and found the documentary, 102 MinutesContinueContinue reading “this all feels connected”
These are a few random reflections and thoughts that I have scribbled down at various times through my first few days in Sénégal. They are not especially profound or telling, but at the end of these first days I have been so [happily] exhausted that it all comes out in lists: – In the pastContinueContinue reading “list-form thoughts of senegal”
callie daniels-howell 