Tag Archives: leaving

wait

I learned to wait in Kenya, sitting in the shade of trees, being, breathing, until the time comes. Sometimes for the matatu to finally guzzle and cajole itself to a start, sometimes for the quorum to slowly make their way over the bulbous stones to the collection of chairs wobbling on uneven ground circled intoContinueContinue reading “wait”

imperfect thanks

One evening in February of 2014, as I was leaving Senegal after a complex, and full, and growing, and straight-up difficult six months as Callie Daba Sarr, I sat on a rooftop and I wrote a thank you letter.

I recently found myself again on a rooftop, this time in Kalamazoo, Michigan and felt a need deep beneath my sternum to again say thank you.

One Year Has Now Passed: A Letter to Moses

Moses, on this day, I don’t know where or how you are, but I do know that after having lived the extraordinary honor of being a mama to you, I am now grateful to carry you, carry your joy and your resilience, carry the sincerity of your smile and the light of your little life, with me as I fiercely love this world, so that all whose paths may cross mine might be graced with some small sense of what it is to have loved and been loved by you.

just like that, it’s time

Written 7 August 2014 Take it as it exists before you. Take the sun as it rises before you, not some other view. Take the coffee as it sits before you, not some newly fresh, attempting to be perfected pot. Take the child as it laughs before you, not some dream of where their lifeContinueContinue reading “just like that, it’s time”

a heavy heart desperate to return

Sometimes it feels overwhelming. Sometimes you can’t get the memory of that boy out of your head, his small body, which in mind is not so young, limp and alone in that dark room. Sometimes you cry for the wonderful giggling and sweet little girls who you laughed with as you realize how much theirContinueContinue reading “a heavy heart desperate to return”

hellos and goodbyes

A close friend sent me these words from Dr. Miriam Adeney yesterday, saying they reminded her of me: “You will never be completely at home again because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” ThisContinueContinue reading “hellos and goodbyes”

dear moses, you may not know it, but

June 2021 amendment: these were my true feelings at the time that I wrote this. I have since reflected, learned, and held myself to account for what I didn’t know then, and what I chose not to know then. You can read that truth here. Dear Moses, you may not know it, but I’m leavingContinueContinue reading “dear moses, you may not know it, but”

an ode to my suitcase:

As I pulled out my suitcase yesterday and began to fill it for my upcoming travel to Kenya on Saturday, I thought about all the places we have been together.  Together, we have made five trips to four countries in four years.  It’s safe to say I’m in love with my suitcase. Not only isContinueContinue reading “an ode to my suitcase:”

inconclusive

A week and some odd minutes ago, I was landing at Indianapolis International Airport, walking through the same entrance terminal to terminal B that I walked through 6 months previously, that time ‘departures’ this time ‘arrivals’. Since then I have filled my days with pots and pots of coffee, chunky sweaters and wool socks, naturallyContinueContinue reading “inconclusive”

dear senegal, jērejēf

Dear Senegal, Jērejēf. Thank you. Thank you for teaching me gratitude. Thank you for showing me out of the dimness of pity, frustration, and dis-satisfaction and toward the light of looking around the world in gratitude. Thank you for the multitude of thankfulness lists I learned and was given space to write and for theContinueContinue reading “dear senegal, jērejēf”

it’s leaving time

It’s that time again… I’m off on another adventure! This Sunday afternoon I will jump on a plane that will take me (via a few stopovers) to Dakar, Sénégal in West Africa where I will be living, studying, and working for six months. My bags are packed (I have a thing about being hyper-prepared wayContinueContinue reading “it’s leaving time”

preparations

The following reflections were written over the past few days while I was enjoying the morning light by the lake at my family’s cottage in Northern Michigan and gathering my thoughts as my departure date for Sénégal (September 8) draws nearer. The compilation paints a pretty accurate account of where I am right now: aContinueContinue reading “preparations”

transition(s) and adjustment(s)

In many ways, my life and its surroundings are in transition. In many ways, my life is just smoothing out after eighteen months of constant transition.  A list I’ve been making as I reflect on adjustment(s): 1. This is the first time I’ve at all slowed down since before I left for college. Really, sinceContinueContinue reading “transition(s) and adjustment(s)”

not an ‘if’ question

Somehow, impossibly, I am in Nairobi and in 7 hours will begin the 3-plane, 22-hour journey home. By 7 AM this morning we took our last breakfast with the family, said goodbyes at the airport, and gone through our first of many, many security clearances.  By 11 AM we had flown to Eldoret, then toContinueContinue reading “not an ‘if’ question”

my journey continues

And just like that, my bags are packed (weighing in at 46.2, 42.6, 15.4, and 4.3 pounds), my passport is sitting at the ready, and my feet are antsy in anticipation. Tomorrow morning I will leave for seven weeks in Kenya. I go with 2 parachutes, 2000 toothbrushes, and an eager heart — keeping meContinueContinue reading “my journey continues”

suitcases

As I feverishly unpack from my first year at Kalamazoo College and repack for my summer in Kenya, I realize how different this experience will be from my semester in Kenya with Annie Garau and am struck by how emotional this realization has made the preparation. This is not to say that I am notContinueContinue reading “suitcases”