In the midst of many movements, physical and figurative and of the soul, words I once wrote have a way of coming back around: 11 November 2014 Things That Appear Broken But Upon Closer Inspection Are Beautiful A slight glint of the equator peeks through the rust on the dilapidated gurney. Soft eyelashes continuing toContinueContinue reading “Things That Appear Broken But Upon Closer Inspection Are Beautiful”
Tag Archives: hospital
That is Something
I have witnessed suffering. I have seen horrible things. I have watched indescribable pain. I turned around; there two babies lay next to one another on the bed, silenced by pain, save for slight mewing. Their bandages were removed and I glanced twice, three times, four before I could comprehend what was missing: their tinyContinueContinue reading “That is Something”
what to do with it
I’m horrible at being a researcher. I’m not actually horrible; I listen well during interviews and ask follow up questions and pay attention and write detailed field notes and, when I don’t procrastinate, I can transcribe an interview like nobody’s business. But when I’m on the wards with the child life health workers, in theContinueContinue reading “what to do with it”
giving and living love
Someone who I deeply respect told me yesterday that after many years of searching, he had finally decided to throw away all of his beliefs but one: that god is a verb, not a noun, and that that verb is love. What I’ve learned this summer is how to give and live love with allContinueContinue reading “giving and living love”
a heavy heart desperate to return
Sometimes it feels overwhelming. Sometimes you can’t get the memory of that boy out of your head, his small body, which in mind is not so young, limp and alone in that dark room. Sometimes you cry for the wonderful giggling and sweet little girls who you laughed with as you realize how much theirContinueContinue reading “a heavy heart desperate to return”
working hard
Today I was asked if I did anything good with the day or if I ‘just worked’. I work hard here. “Weekends” aren’t a readily available term in my vocabulary. Friday night is not indicative of any certain activity, behavior, or lack of thoughtfulness. I work hard. I work every day. Saturday and Sunday areContinueContinue reading “working hard”
surrounded by suffering
Some jumbled thoughts on living my days here surrounded by suffering: Throughout much of my time in Kenya, I feel as if suffering surrounds me. Throughout all of my time in the hospital, I feel as if suffering surrounds me. That’s not to say that suffering is all that surrounds me. There is also suchContinueContinue reading “surrounded by suffering”
moses
June 2021 amendment: these were my true feelings at the time that I wrote this. I have since reflected, learned, and held myself to account for what I didn’t know then, and what I chose not to know then. You can read that truth here. Moses. The reason I looked up ‘kwashiorkor prognosis’ on GoogleContinueContinue reading “moses”
callie daniels-howell 