maggie

A year ago today the world lost Maggie Harry.

Maggie and I trained at the same dance studio, our paths crossing in classes, rehearsals, shows, and the often-hilarious, always-true conversation had over tying up pointe shoes and nursing sore feet.  Maggie was younger than I and we often hung around different groups of people, but in the end the tireless practices, hard work and sweat from each of us came together to put on the show, ensemble.

After the last dress rehearsal for each large show, the advanced dancers gathered together with our “affirmation journals” and, as music quietly played, took turns writing notes of encouragement, support, and friendship for each other.  These would be read during the show and for years to come as evidence of the great bonds that are created through dancing in unison.

On the day that Maggie died, January 17 2012, I dug out my old and worn affirmation journal and glanced through, looking for one note in particular.  The note was given to me by Maggie, just before our final performance together, after which we would both go our separate directions away from the studio.

Amidst well-wishes for the show ahead and remarks about perseverance through injuries, Maggie wrote: “I’ve always looked to you as a better version of myself.”

I wish now that I could tell her that that was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received.  Maggie was younger, but I always found myself looking up to her, admiring the grace and joy she brought to life.  She seemed to exude vivacity and courageousness and had a way of deeply caring for those around her.

It had been a while since Maggie and I had seen each other or spoken when she died, and I can in no way begin to experience this day as her family and close friends must.

But I do think of Maggie often.  Seeing the outpouring of love and deep admiration for Maggie over this past year has inspired me to be more like Maggie in my daily life.  When I looked back through that journal and found her words, I felt pride that a piece of Maggie might be in me as she once thought.

And so I went through this week with Maggie’s name on my wrist, reminding me to fill each day with life and compassion and joy and when people asked me why the name was there I said it was “a friend.”

Maggie, you are still dancing among us. Thank you.

 To everyone, hug one another, love one another, care for and be deeply kind to one another on this and every day.